F U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F U: voice
F U: self doubt
F U: insecurity
F U: pain
F U: smoking
F U: wind

I got out and ran. I ran 3miles. The first lap was really hard but about halfway into my second lap my breathing got under control and I got into a good "flow." I started out shooting to run 4 miles but 5 laps in I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it. 8 laps in "the voice" got pretty loud. It kept trying to talk me into stopping early. It made me rationalize that technically I was on day 3 week 9 of Couch to 5k and I was only required to run for 30 minutes. That would've meant I only had to run for 5 minutes instead of 4 more laps. I got so angry. This voice is so annoying. I mean, I was so close and this stupid voice wanted me to stop!?!? Seriously?!?! I had enough. I'm so over this voice. I'm sick of sabotaging myself.

While I was doing a cool down lap it really hit me. I actually started a project and finished it. I'm notorious for starting all kinds of stuff and not finishing them. It was really overwhelming to have that sink in. I can't believe I got this far. 8 weeks ago I never imagined I would ever be at this point. I went from struggling to run for a minute and a half straight to being able to run for 3 miles.

My race is in a week. I still can't believe I can actually do this. That voice and go f itself!